How NOT to create a family feud over a dragon??

[tdrost]

Need some advice on how to handle my "situation". My sister-in-law got her son a dragon for his 8th birthday. The dragon came with a basic set-up and the previous owners gave her some direction in its care.(which she Did follow).
well, she asked me to babysit so I have had this beautiful lil dragon for the summer. However, when she came to me, she was very sick with diahhrea and just not very active.
The information that was given to them was absolutely incorrect. Poor Turtle (that is what my boys have renamed her to) was eating nothing but iceburg lettuce for a couple of weeks and had no heat or UVB.
I now have her very happy and she is eating and pooping regularly. Any signs of diahhrea have passed, and she now loves to wander the house WITH my bichon-shih tzu!! She is very friendly and easy going and actually knows when I want her to come! (lol, ok, so I think she is actually just following the dog).

Anyway, I am torn because they don't want to spend the money to give her a PROPER set-up.
I feel that ignorance in the day of internet is the same as abuse.

Anyone have any thoughts, or advice? I am normally such an outspoken person, but I feel that this is a situation that could really start a family feud! Just want to handle it without hurting anyone***especially the dragon!!!!***
And yes, this has become rather personal for me because I have grown attached to Turtle. What was supposed to be a week or two turned into the entire summer. That's a long time of TLC!!
thanks!

 

[Bill]

Buy it from her tell her how your kids have become so attached to it but don't tell her she wasn't taking care of it properly that will cause trouble

 

[Bill]

And Welcome to the Forum

 

[tdrost]

thanks Bill! that is a good idea! LOL~I know they got her free on kijiji so I hope they don't try to charge me an arm and a leg for her!!

 

[peachiest]

I agree with Bill. The only time I would even mention her improper care would be in the event she decides to get a new dragon for her son.

 

[tdrost]

thanks guys! I will definately take your advice! Hopefully it all goes smoothly!!

 

[Brett]

Good luck.

 

[tdrost]

Thank You all for the support!! It was all great advice and much needed shoulders!!
I guess they are coming today at some point to pick her up. It technically belongs to the 8 year old, and he thinks she is "cool" and "fun".
Apparantly even though they have not seen or asked about her in the last 2.5 months (since she came to me), she is loved and wanted back.
Gotta frieking love it when a living creature is no more than a novelty!!!!!!

I pray now that they take some advice on proper care........

Sorry for my rant, I am heartbroken and angry at the same time!!!!
again, THANK YOU ALL!!

 

[Brett]

i dont blame you i would too. I guess i wouldve kept it if it was me regardless of what they wanted, but family fueds are not any fun.

 

[tdrost]

i dont blame you i would too. I guess i wouldve kept it if it was me regardless of what they wanted, but family fueds are not any fun.

I am so torn between starting a family feud or just quietly giving her back. For the last month I kept saying I wasn't going to allow her to go back!
On the other hand, even children's services will give kids back!
I called my mother in law, and I guess they are in a family discussion right now as to whether they Do want her back or not. ARGHHH!!!
At least the m-i-l knows now (thnx to my overbearing nature) just what the dragon needs, and how much money they need to put out in proper supplies, etc.
Just so frustrating that I have given her so much tlc (not to mention the money put out), and now they just want her back.
Either way, I said they can't come today! (at least that gives me a chance to talk to hubby when he gets home tonight after work).

 

[Brett]

I would give them a break down on your investment towards him and say ok if you want them back i would like to be reimbursed for them perhaps that's will change there mind on wanting it back. I think that's a fair thing to ask.

 

[peachiest]

Maybe suggesting another type of cool lizard that doesn't require as much space or attention would be a good idea if they are not sure about wanting her back. My best friend's son has had his leopard gecko for about 3 years. They got him the gecko when he was only 9. They don't seem to have as many needs as a beardie and don't require as big of a tank. I know some geckos might require more attention and care than others, but it's a thought.

Good luck. I really hope they let you keep her. They can always come visit.

 

[tdrost]

Brett, thanks! Glad somebody else was thinking on those lines too! I am going to do exactly that.
Peachiest, I did suggest a different type of lizard, as well as suggesting I buy her.
The decision was made like this; the parents asked the 8 year old if he wants her back. he said yes. In their mind its settled.
The M-I-L suggested that I write a list of her Absolute necessary items; lamps, heat pad,etc. as well as Very simple to understand lists of what she should and shouldn't be fed. so on and so on.
they "say" they will buy her what she requires~~but only the absolutely necessary items.
That alone is killing me because how do you make a list of what is necessary vs suggested. In their mind if she is "surviving" that is as good as "healthy & happy".

Apparantly they also said that they think I am overdramatizing what is actually necessary, and will not buy everything I suggest. AARGH!!!

 

[Brett]

Im sorry if thats there attitude id deal with fued and not give it back.

 

[tdrost]

thought I would add an update on what's happening with this situation. They did request a breakdown of the expenses~~which I already had ready!
Poop hit the fan, so to speak. I decided after some stupid comments to not hold anything back anymore. Told the family that as far as I am concerned
the dragon was being abused. Ignorance is no excuse for improper care of an animal.
(we Are in the day of internet).
I hate to see any animal abused, but especially one i nursed back to health for a month and cared for for another month and a half.
So I guess they Are coming to get her. AFTER they enjoy their long weekend.

 

[tdrost]

forgot to mention... I am now not only a B***, but also have been told that I think I am a "know it all".
the first because i didn't want her to go back. the second because I tried to tell everyone about proper care and such.
I don't think I was trying to be a know-it-all......(i think i still have Alot to learn). But I did do quite abit of reading, and asking questions. we are in Western Canada...that makes a dragon an Exotic Pet!
Not the first time I have been called names. Guess, it just hurts more when you're trying to do right by something.

 

[Brett]

Well you did the right thing i wouldn't let it bother you. It show you have character not a B$tch. So are they agreeing to pay for expenses? Not that its the major issue here but at least you can put it towards your own Dragon if need be.

 

[tdrost]

Well you did the right thing i wouldn't let it bother you. It show you have character not a B$tch. So are they agreeing to pay for expenses? Not that its the major issue here but at least you can put it towards your own Dragon if need be.

Thank You Brett! They are paying expenses. (whether they like it or not.) I have more than just their pet to take care of, so I will make sure the money comes back. Even if it has to be in installments or something.
Thanks again!

 

[Bill]

In the end let's not forget that it is still just a reptile and it can be replaced but your family is for ever.All you can do is try to help them I am sure they will appreciate it they may not show it but they will.

 

[tdrost]

thanks again Everyone!